Posted by: dcarnes | June 9, 2010

Free stuff

Last week on my drive to work I was listening to the morning radio hosts lament about the trends in their neighborhoods to set out your unwanted treasures and mark them as “free” to whomever chooses to give them a new home. They claimed it’s a growing phenomenon that’s trumping yard sales, which take an incredible amount of time, and net you about $5 an hour when all is said and done. Okay, that last part about the time and hourly profit is my personal commentary. But, I speak the truth. If you’ve ever had your own yard sale, you can relate. It takes a boat load of time, only to be stuck haggling with someone over a handcrafted baby crib  - a baby crib worth $950 that Ms. Yard Sale shopper thinks she should only pay $25 instead of the $50 you’re asking (which I priced while fighting back tears).

 As I listened to the radio, I’m thinking to myself how this whole “free” things make sense, but I couldn’t say I’d seen much of it around the neighborhood. Wrong. I head out for a run on Saturday that takes me through the neighborhood and beyond, and out toward where the lots get large and the traffic less,  lo and behold I run by a couch, a desk, and some other valuable miscellaneous stuff – all marked with “free” signs.

 

I come to the end of my route where I turn around and run back the way I came. And in my return route I see a car stop, back up and test out the couch, which is quite handsome, by the way. The fact is, you wouldn’t find bad junk in this particular neighborhood. If it’s being offered for “free” it’s because it’s being replaced by something new, not because it’s come to the end of its usefulness.

 Before I reach home I gaze up a side street and see another “free” treasure. Yes, the sun was out and spring/summer cleaning was in full swing, but I was questioning if I just hadn’t noticed before that this growing trend had finally infiltrated our area.

The radio hosts were questioning whether this movement was devaluing the neighborhoods.  Was it as bad as having old cars in your yard or a rocker on the porch?  My first thought was that there is no comparison between old cars and good junk that will only stay on the sidewalk until in can be hauled to its new home.  So, I’m all for it. Put out the good stuff and let it become someone’s new treasure.


What do you think? Unclaimed treasures or unwelcomed, unsightly trash?

Posted by: dcarnes | May 15, 2010

Am I smarter than a second grader? Well, it depends.

Every day I’m amazed by the wisdom of my eight-year-old. As her teacher says, “she’s a smart cookie,” and not much goes by her. You’d think after eight years I’d remember my verbal filter around her, knowing that fact. But, oh no, not me.

I know that if I plant a seed in her head, I better be willing to deal with the germination. Recently, she was lamenting about how either her father or I often miss her little school activities held during the day and rarely come on field trips. In my 40-something wisdom I got off an a little rant about how those of us that work for a living don’t always have the liberty to come to an 11 a.m. or 1 p.m. school event.  School events can never, ever be held right when school starts or right before school ends. If that were the case, they may get way too many working parents flooding into the classrooms.

Note to reader: my verbal filter remains off at this point, so I failed to stop there with my little “I’m a working parent” rant. I kept going, and dared to suggest that maybe if her class had a career day those of us who work could come in and talk about what we’re doing while the OTHER parents are there for all the 11 a.m. events.  I’m really not dissin’ parents who don’t hold jobs, but I think it’s pretty hard to argue with the fact that school events and the entire school calendar are not conducive to those of who work.

Before I could say much more, the seed was already growing, and Payton was on her way to becoming the “project coordinator” for career day, which meant that her mom was “volunteered” to help coordinate the day. After running my big mouth, I humbly agreed to whatever I was asked.

Since my real-life job involves a lot of plans, timelines and details I did the same for this. I sent out a detailed email asking each parent participant to stick to a 5-7 minute presentation and cover specific things, which were in line with what the kids had been asked to do on their “career posters.” Adults are the worst at following directions!

The day of the big event had me actually typing out my notes to gather my thoughts on how to explain what I do to second graders. I’m in PR. And, many adults don’t have a clue what that is, so imagine describing what I do to these eager, young minds.

We started Career Day about 2:10 and had until about 3:30. There were eight parents in all and since Mr. T and I were with the “organizer” we were the last to go. We all plopped ourselves down in those little desks and began the presentations. Now, I have to say that I absolutely love my daughter’s teacher. She’s fabulous with the kids. But, she let the first couple of parents go on and on. Granted, their careers were easier to explain – radiology tech for a Cancer Center, hairdresser, insurance broker, real estate agent – but what ever happened to brevity?

Finally, it came my turn and the kids were getting squirmy. They’d been given snacks, gifts and knew it was close to “get your backpacks ready time.” Each child introduced his/her parent, so Payton introduced me as a “problem solver” as she had written on the sign hanging from her desk. Actually, I was quite impressed, because she’s right in many ways.

Okay, without going into painful detail, the takeaway for the day is that you need to keep your presentations to second graders down to the three S’s. Keep it simple, be succinct and throw in a surprise (read here: prize, treat, gift, etc). The fact is it works for adults, too.

So, next time you’re called to give a presentation, I suggest you apply these same rules I learned from a squirrelly group of smart second graders. Simple, succinct, shiny surprises  – and you’re sure to be the big hit of the day.  And yes, you’ll definitely be deemed smarter than a second grader!

Posted by: dcarnes | May 3, 2010

My brain still works

It turns out that while middle age may signal the desire to buy sports cars, lead to the exhibition of some uncharacteristic behaviors and even result in you forgetting your child’s name in the heat of delivering your most powerful reprimand, it doesn’t signal that your brain has experienced its best day.  I feel such relief!

Granted, after having a child I felt my short-term memory was shelved with the holiday decorations. And, the unfortunate thing is it didn’t resurface once a year like the splendor of each season. But, I’m over that, and for the most part, I can remember what I need to and fake the rest.

Now, along comes a book by Barbara Strauch that gives us 40-somethings great hope that our brains still work. And, not only do they work, they work better than those 20-something brains when it comes to problem-solving, exhibiting good judgment, making financial decisions and pretty much everything. Okay, that last part I made up, but I was on a roll.  And, my brain is workin’.

So, next time I have a brain lapse and think Altzheimers is knocking on my door, I’m going to think again — exercise my solid 40-year-old-plus judgment – and know that my brains just fine, even if I can’t remember your name.

Posted by: dcarnes | April 27, 2010

Sage advice: Don’t judge a book by its cover

Lin Yu Chun in his bow tie and bowl cut hairstyle isn’t exactly the image that comes to mind of one who can belt out Whitney Houston’s I Will Always Love You. It’s a little freakish to watch this Taiwanese 20-something sing Whitney better than Whitney can today.

I do better listening to him. It’s the watching part that messes with my brain. How does this young man, who can’t even speak English, determine that he had what it takes to sing Whitney?  Who knows, and who cares. He can sing. Period.

So, next time I’m ready to jump to judgment, I’m going to remember those enticing book covers are just that. It’s what’s inside that matters.

Posted by: dcarnes | February 18, 2010

Has casual day moved beyond Khakis?

Since tomorrow is “casual Friday” it seems only fitting that I make it the focus of today’s blog post.  And, what got me thinking about the whole comfortable approach to mark the week’s end was my daughter  telling me about last week’s art project and how one of the moms always wears sweats and tennis shoes when she comes to volunteer. I made some comment about how great that would be, but that I just couldn’t pull that off, even on Fridays.

“Why not on Friday?” she asked with complete sincerity.

“Well, I think that’s a bit too casual, and I really couldn’t get away with it,” I responded.

But, she was persistent. “Are you sure mom? How about nice sweats?”

“No, I don’t really think so,” I replied.

So call it coincidental when as I was driving to work last week when two morning radio personalities were talking about Pajama Jeans. Upon closer inspection of the Web site, I believe that, yes, these jeans could pass the “casual Friday” test.  The added bonus is that apparently they are so darn comfortable I could sleep in them.

It appears that they are only available via the company’s Web site and there is only one style, but for $40 these might just become the latest, greatest thing.  I like to consider myself an early adopter in the fashion arena, and while the thought of wearing pajama bottoms to work is appealing, I don’t think I’ll be whipping out my credit card any time soon.

Let me know if you or anybody you know purchases a pair of pajama jeans. I’d love to hear about your experience.

For now, I’ll stick to denim for Fridays.

Posted by: dcarnes | February 17, 2010

Please Tiger, don’t preempt the Olympics

Tiger, I guess I get it to some degree. After three months you really want to come out of seclusion and try to piece your life back together. News Flash – I’m not all that sure it’s possible. But, thankfully a lot of money makes things better, so I’m told. But, here’s the deal, Tiger. It’s Olympics time, and these unpaid, amateur athletes deserve their 15 minutes and maybe even 15 days of fame. They are the news these days – as it should be.

Tiger, you change the game on Friday when you go public with whatever you’re going to say. I get it, I’m actually in PR. You want to control the situation. And honestly, despite many who believe differently, I think from a PR perspective you handled this one brilliantly. If you don’t put yourself in the game, eventually the game dies. And, it has. Until now.

With your announcement that you’ll be speaking on Friday you become the news – front and center – once again. And, I’m sorry, this go around your timing and strategy really sucks.

Look, you have the money, the fame and now attention beyond anyone’s belief, not to mention a bevy of women that will come lapping at your feet whenever you appear, call or whatever method you use. So why now? Why during the Olympics? And, oh yeah, that little Accenture-sponsored PGA tournament down the road; how convenient. You are good. They stuck it to you so you figure you’ll not-so-subtly stick it to them.

For the sake of you, your wife and children I hope the damage you’ve caused isn’t irreparable, but it’s too bad you let the pressure get the best of you and now have to publicly say something. Silence and seclusion were working for you. I wish you could have lasted at least another two weeks.

Two weeks from now Shani Davis will be home giving himself media traning while holding his gold medal, Lindsey Vonn will be off shooting magazine covers, Johnny Weir will be debuting his drag show on ice, Apolo Ohno will be trimming his soul patch and Nordic Combined silver medalist Johnny Spillane will be sinking back in to no-name status.

The fact is these people deserve their two weeks. For many, this is their peek. Not all, but many.

Would it kill you to hold off sticking it to Accenture? Because this really isn’t about needing to get out by Friday and do your apologizing. The only one that needs and deserves your apologies is your wife. I can only assume you’ve done that again and again. And, my advice is keep doing it, preferably in private.

Posted by: dcarnes | January 21, 2010

Since I’ve been gone…

Well folks, I’m not sure if there are many of you left out there. I became a bit discouraged about a month ago when my daily numbers that hovered almost at a hundred a day plummeted to about five. In the middle of a new job, and feeling overwhelmed and overtired, I figured I would deal with it later.

Later has arrived and I’ve decided it’s time to give it another go. Once I completely get my act together, hopefully within the next couple of days, I will regularly start posting again. If you’re out there, give me a shout and let me know. It would really make my day.

Talk to you soon!

Posted by: dcarnes | December 14, 2009

Profile of a holiday shopper

If you’re a people watcher, there’s no finer time than the holiday. Every year I scratch my head in wonderment as to where many of these folks migrate to the remaining 361 weeks of the year.

Look ma, me and thousands of my closest friends out for a fun day of holiday shopping?

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not much of a shopper throughout the year, but I can assure you I’m not holed up in my house 361 weeks a year just counting the days until I can join the throng of lemmings participating in the annual mall crawl.

I’m an equal opportunity disliker. I dislike the mall every week of the year, not just when it’s so damned crowded. But add all those people to the mix and I find it almost unbearable, even if it does make for good people watching.

And, while I’m not a profiler by profession, and I have no scientific background, I do believe there are at least four solid profiles of the holiday shopper.

Profile #1 – Tortured soul. He/she isn’t really there to buy much. She secretly loves the frenzy of the crowds and feels she’s missing out if she’s not in the thick of things. To her, there’s nothing worse than not being a part of it, whatever “it” is. Who knows when the gloves will be marked down another 40 percent so you can snatch up a lime green pair for Aunt Milly – the same Aunt Milly you haven’t seen for 10 years.

Profile #2  – Grab and go. Now, this is probably closer to who I am. She comes with a list. She hates crowds. She’s annoyed by parkers trolling the lot for the best parking spot, when the fact is finding a parking spot is the best you’re gonna get. She doesn’t dilly dally or get pulled off track, except for on the rare occasion. Focus, focus, focus – that’s the mantra. Get what you came for and get out. Now, that’s a person after my own heart!

Profile #3 – The Wanderer. She has no idea what she’s getting anyone for Christmas. She plans a full day at the mall because her experience is that it always takes a long time to get just the right gift for everyone on her list – and her list is usually pretty long. She likes to compare items and prices. It means nothing to shop from one end to the other, only to return and buy the first item she considered. It’s about being thoughtful and thorough. The crowd distraction does not get in her way. After all, she is the wanderer, and she’s a warrior.

Profile #4 – The Non-Shopper. I see them even in the off-season and I simply don’t get it. Why would you come to the mall to shop when you really have no intention of shopping? The non-shopper spends several hours pretending to shop, but  very little, if anything, is purchased. The non-shopper usually comes out several times during the holiday frenzy, pulled by the need to be where the shopping is. In the end, she actually buys very few Christmas gifts, but thoroughly enjoys her shopping experiences.

Profile #5 – The Frenzy and Frazzled. Too many kids, too little money and too little time. Sometimes the partner is in tow, but he too looks harried. The brow expresses stress; the mouth depicts frustration and sometimes anger. You envision the growing credit card bill in their name, as Tattoo Barbie and Barbie’s camper, join MindFlex, razor scooter, Crayola cutter and Zhu Zhu pet in the cart.

Ah, the joys of the holiday season. There’s good reason to spike our eggnog, don’t you think?

Posted by: dcarnes | December 1, 2009

Please come back

I’ll admit; I’m way behind on posting to this blog. But, it’s been a little busy.

First, there was wrapping up the old job. I always think it’s going to be so quick and easy to wind down and walk out the door. Maybe it’s me, but I always feel compelled to work up to the last minute so everyone left behind isn’t cursing me the minute I walk out the door.

Next came Thanksgiving. For someone who gets no satisfaction in cooking, hosting and serving 17 for dinner is more than stressful; it’s sometimes painful. Don’t get me wrong; I love friends and family and I’m grateful they all came. I worry more about them going home and whispering to their neighbors about the horrible food they were served on Thanksgiving. I don’t think that was the case. In fact, I thought it actually came out pretty well. But nonetheless, it totally stresses me out. Thankfully, wine helps.

Then, yesterday came the first day of my new job. It’s my third new job in the last two years. After nearly 10 years at the same job, perhaps you can understand that I’m not all that used to all this job change. I admit I did it to myself. I went to work for an incredible gubernatorial campaign candidate because I believed in her (our governor) so much and because I needed to make a change and take on a challenge I’d never been faced with. It was an incredible experience and an amazing yet completely exhausting success.

From there I spent six months unemployed and was thankfully offered a wonderful opportunity. But….I have to admit there is nothing worse than being underemployed. I blame it all on our tanked economy and its trickle down effects.

While I was incredibly thankful for this incredible opportunity, it’s hard to not want more when you have so much more to give. So, when my current employer wanted to chat, I wanted to listen.  Long story short, I made yet another move that began on Monday.

I say all this because I’ve been preoccupied and not focused on this blog. But, while doing so I’ve apparently lost pretty much each and every person who might have even glanced at my blog. How else can I go from nearly 100 visitors a day to 5 today? Look, I’m no party crasher or recent tree crasher, but sometimes I think I have some interesting things to say. So, my hope is I haven’t lost all of you, just because my posts have been a bit irregular.

I’ll try my best to do better, if you’ll promise to try and visit again.  Will you please come back?

Posted by: dcarnes | November 18, 2009

Who’s that knocking on our door?

There are many things you shouldn’t sell door-to-door. Two that come quickly to mind are vacuum cleaners and religion.

I’m not so sure if anyone sells vacuum cleaners out of their trunk these days. My guess is there’s no market for it. That niche has been gobbled up by big box stores, the internet and infomercials that convince you if your vacuum can’t suck up a bowling ball it’s just not doing its job. I’ll admit that with a husband, a child and a dog I often suck up some significantly-sized debris but I can’t say I’ve ever discovered bowling balls or their equivalent in weight and size just lying around. The day that happens is the day I need to take a serious look at my housekeeping methods.

I don’t know about you, but I can’t say I have any of these laying around, waiting to be vacuumed up.

If I recall, my mom bought her Kirby from a trunk, so to speak, along with Avon products, Salad Master pots and pans and those evil, pyramid scheming Amway products that even back then probably subliminally communicated some whacky religious messages when you used them.

Even the school sales have slowed down these days, with schools strongly discouraging kids from asking people they don’t know if they’d like to buy candy, wrapping paper, cookie dough, magazines…I could keep going. Instead, they encourage kids to collect their orders online and contact those long lost, rich relatives spread across the country and provide them an easy opportunity to order at their leisure and give your little Betty or Billy credit in the process.

That’s a good trend. I’m all for nixing the whole door-to-door thing completely, But, there’s one little thing that for some reason a few people still think going door to door is the way to sell it, and that “it” is religion.

As a kid, we lived in an area that was ripe for religious sales, or at least they thought. I grew up in a fairly rural part of the country, lived about a mile out of town and up off a highway. You had to make a concerted effort to come to our house, but religion has no bounds. And those Jehovah Witness folks just kept on coming. I guess there were enough of them that they could rotate and share in the rejections, because they never stopped trying, even though the answer was the same every time, with slight colorful variations depending on the family responder.

W e were never a religious family, but Jehovah Witnesses are about as far from my beliefs as humanly possible. No holidays. No birthdays. No enjoying the weekends. No jewelry. No music. No movies. No fun. And for what, to get ready for the Second Coming, which I really have no idea if that’s bad or good, but it doesn’t matter because the only thing that’s coming in my book is something tangible like the ice cream truck or a snow storm.

Selling religion door to door feels about as passé as selling vacuums.  But, two young men approached our door recently and I politely said I wasn’t interested. I really wanted to scream, ‘Stop with the God sale, go out and have some fun, enjoy life. Quit hawking goods that 99.99 percent of us have no interest in buying.’

That may sound harsh, but I’m a realist. I don’t need a vacuum that picks up bowling balls and I don’t need my soul saved by a pimply-faced teen. Case Door closed.

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